No Officiant? Here’s What to Do During Your Elopement Ceremony

A common question when couples are having a wedding or elopement ceremony without an officiant is… what the heck do we do during the ceremony? How do we make it feel special and “real”?

And, it makes sense why you might worry about that, but as a photographer who has photographed hundreds of 2-person elopements, I can confidently tell you that when the moment rolls around, all that worry is for nothing.

It is going to feel so special. You’re going to be so present, and you’re not at all going to be in your head about it… because no one is listening in and there’s absolutely no outside pressure during that moment.

Let’s dive into some elopement ceremony ideas to make sure yours doesn’t feel awkward or empty!

Elopement Ceremony Script

Create your own elopement ceremony script! (Hello, date night!)

If you’re not into having someone officiate or follow a traditional structure, one of the best ways to feel confident during your ceremony is to plan what you’ll say ahead of time!

Try this:

• Look up a few traditional or non-traditional ceremony scripts online.
• Pull phrases or passages that resonate.
• Mix and match them to build a script that feels personal.
• At the end, pronounce yourselves “wife and wife!” or “adventure partners for life!” or whatever feels you.

Building a ceremony script could easily turn into a cozy evening together! Brainstorming how you want to start your ceremony (think outside of the box, too!), and maybe even laughing at the overly dramatic ceremony scripts you find online (because, yes, some are very dramatic).

Then during your ceremony, take turns reading your script aloud to each other. It creates a little structure and gives you both something to do, while still being completely in your own words and vibe.

Can I share something personal?

My husband and I fell in love with this quote from the book ‘The Amber Spyglass’ and we started our elopement ceremony off with it.

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I will love you forever; whatever happens.
Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead,
I’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again.

I’ll be looking for you, every moment, every single moment.
And when we do find each other again, we’ll cling together so tight that nothing and no one’ll ever tear us apart.

Every atom of me and every atom of you. We’ll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams. 

And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me.

-Philip Pullman

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Decide Who Goes First… In a Fun Way!

Not sure who should go first with vows or a reading? Turn it into a lighthearted moment! Flip a coin, play rock-paper-scissors, or even draw a name from a hat.

It doesn’t have to be serious—this little pause can ease the nerves, spark a laugh, and remind you both that this day is yours to shape however you want.

Read Old Love Letters or Cards You’ve Given Each Other

I once had a couple kick off their ceremony by pulling out a handful of old birthday cards and love notes they’d written to each other over the years. Cue the happy tears and laughter.

This is such a special way to remind yourselves of how far you’ve come together. Your story. It’s grounding, nostalgic, and instantly fills the space with emotion and warmth.

Ask Loved Ones to Write You Letters to Read

If you want to include your people without physically having them there, this is such a sweet idea.

Reach out to close friends or family and ask them to write a short note or letter. Maybe something encouraging, funny, sentimental, or leave it open-ended! Whatever fits your vibe.

Reading those letters during your ceremony can feel like having them right there with you, cheering you on from afar.

Include a Unity Ceremony

Unity ceremonies aren’t just for big weddings! They can actually be incredibly intimate and meaningful, especially with just the two of you.

Some ideas to consider:

• Hand fasting. Wrap your hands together with a cord or scarf, symbolizing your commitment. You can say a few words as you do it, or read a short passage.
• Take a few deep breaths together. Literally pause, hold hands, and take three big, grounding breaths. It may sound simple, but it helps you soak in the moment.
• Mix a custom cocktail or share a drink. Pour a little whiskey, wine, or sparkling water into a shared glass and toast to your next chapter.
• Make a sandwich. I literally had a couple smash together a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. There are no rules, friends. Do what makes you happy.
• Create art together. Bring a small canvas and paint something abstract side by side. Even if it’s just smears of color, it becomes a physical memory of the moment. You could even start a painting together and add to it every anniversary like this couple did!

This couple chose to do a science experiment during their elopement ceremony.

Exchange Rings or Gifts

Take a moment to exchange rings, gifts, or special tokens! This little exchange can be a physical reminder of the promises you’re making and the love you’re choosing every day. You can even have a special reading for this portion as well.

Play Your Song

This is a great way to wrap up the ceremony! Maybe the song even leads into your first dance.

So many couples forget that the beauty of eloping is not having to fill every second with words or structure. You get to let it breathe.

Exchange Vows or Personal Words

Of course, this one’s the classic, but even here, you have freedom. You don’t have to write formal vows if that feels stressful. You can each write a letter to read to the other. Or speak from the heart in the moment.

Pro tip: Keep a running list of thoughts, memories, and little love notes in the Notes app on your phone. Start this months in advance. Anything that makes you laugh, cry, or feel grateful can go on the list. When it’s time to write your vows or plan your ceremony, you’ll have a treasure trove of meaningful moments to pull from.

Sign Your Marriage License

…or let your dog sign it (which is actually legal in most Colorado counties!).

Because who says this moment has to be stiff or boring? One of the best parts of an elopement or small wedding is getting to romanticize every little thing you do. So maybe right after the rings and the kiss, you make signing the license part of the ceremony itself!

Pop Champagne!

After you break from the ceremony, pop champagne (or bubbly water), have a seat, enjoy a picnic, and just take it all in. You freaking did it, and on your own terms at that.

And that, my friend, is worth celebrating.

Meet Your Elopement Photographer

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