Wedding Planning Advice: Tips From Couples Who’ve Been There

Planning a wedding can feel simultaneously exciting and overwhelming. Trust me, I’ve been there.

You want a day that feels meaningful and fun, weddings typically come with a ton of opinions, pressure, and Pinterest-perfect expectations. So, I went straight to the source and asked married couples what they learned through planning their weddings: what worked, what didn’t, and what they wish they knew beforehand.

Now, I get to share their feedback with you! Here’s what they had to say:

Guest Lists: Everyone Struggles With It

The guest list was absolutely one of the most talked-about challenges. Feeling the same way? You’re certainly not alone.

Here’s how people responded to the question, “Did you stick to your original guest list?”

• Yes, stuck with it: 46%
• No, we cut people: 25%
• No, we added people: 12%
• It changed a lot 😅: 17%

From family pressure to feeling like you need to invite your cousin’s neighbor, guest list decisions can get complicated fast. You may even feel like you have a short-list of close-to-you people in your life, bust as soon as you start listing everyone, you may be surprised by just how quickly those people add up in number.

One person said it best, “Inviting every cousin’s friend was not worth it. Only invite those you care to be there.”

What Actually Matters (Spoiler: Not What You’re Stressing About)

I asked, “Is there anything you thought would matter… but totally didn’t?”

Here’s what they said:

• “The details – flowers, food, props for photos, etc.”
• “The weather! We stressed about the weather so much and I wish we hadn’t.”
• “How it looked! I cared way more about how it felt!”
• “The guest list/trying to make everyone feel included – I wish I didn’t stress over it so much!”
• “Quite literally everything went wrong on the wedding day… and in the end, the things that stand out as mattering were our people and the fact that we were married.”

This kind of wisdom hits different when it comes from someone who’s been there. It might help you loosen your grip on perfection and lean more into being present and enjoying your experience instead.

Favorite Moments: The Magic in the In-Between

When I asked what people loved most about their wedding day, here’s what came up:

• “Looking at our guests during the ceremony.”
• “Dinner around the campfire after everything was said and done.”
• “Reading vows privately.”
• “Dancing with my closest loved ones.”
• “We did everything at our own pace.”
• “We sat by our Colorado basin and read letters from our families (who we didn’t invite).”
• “Being with my husband the whole night. We made sure to stick together like glue and experience our wedding side by side vs spending most of the night apart.”

The common thread? The magic is in slowing down, being present, and actually experiencing this day. It’s the perfect opportunity to spend quality time together, both with your partner, and the people you truly wanted on the guest list.

What Felt the Most Overwhelming

Planning stress is real, and the most common culprits were:

• Family pressure and opinions
• Guest list drama
• Trying to keep up with tradition
• Feeling like you always should be working on the wedding
• Picking a venue that felt just right

A few direct quotes:

• “Standing our ground and dealing with upset family members.”
• “My mother-in-law kept trying to invite her friends… I just wanted a small list.”
• “Telling everyone we were eloping” (and by the way! I have a helpful resource for that too)

This part of planning is where setting boundaries really matters. More on that next…

If They Could Do It Again…

Here’s what couples said they’d do differently:

• “Set firm boundaries on the groom’s mother’s”
• “I would elope. My traditional wedding became about everyone else and not us.”
• “Hire a day-of coordinator. I feel so bad seeing how stressed my family was setting everything up.”

Not everyone had regrets, but those who did? Almost all of them wished they had made the day more about themselves and less about pleasing others.

And even for a wedding or elopement, you can totally still hire a planner! More on that here.

Wedding Planning Advice From the Other Side

This question may have gotten my favorite answers: “What advice would you give to your wedding-planning self?”

Here are a few gems:

• “Ask for help when you need it and tell people to step back when you don’t.”
• “Put your foot down on what you want. Don’t try to make everyone else happy – you won’t.”
• “Ask ‘how will this feel?’ Not ‘how will this look?’”
• “Do what YOU want to do and don’t feel pressure to make other people happy.”
• “It really is a blur! Try to be as present as possible.”
• “Breathe. It will all work out.”
• “Slow down and soak it all in!”

And then there was this one that really stuck with me:

“The whole day I stressed so much about how the tables looked, the food, how the day flowed. But the day came and went and all I cared about was being with my husband.”

If there’s one thing to take away, it’s this:

The big deal is marrying your person.

Everything else? It’s just extra. Beautiful, fun, meaningful…. but still extra. Life is just too damn short! Don’t lose sight of what really matters.

My Own Two Cents

After photographing hundreds of weddings and planning our own, here’s what I can tell you:

“If it’s not a heck yes, it’s a no.”

My husband and I got married on the shore of Grand Lake. We started with sunrise vows, paddle boarded with our dogs, played like kids at summer camp, and soaked in every second with our favorite people. It was a little unconventional and a whole lot of fun. And most importantly, it felt like the truest celebration of us.

If I could change anything? I’d make it last longer. It’s true what they say: the day goes by in a blur. Which is why time is the most valuable thing you can give yourselves. Time to linger, savor, be spontaneous, and actually experience the moments instead of rushing through them.

I also had my own moments navigating expectations from family. And as hard as it can be, please oh PLEASE be careful about compromising too much or too quickly. It often starts small, but wedding plans can snowball fast. Stay grounded in what matters most to you, and protect your vision. You don’t want to look back feeling like you gave too much of it away.

And most importantly? Have fun with it. Say yes to the things that give you butterflies. Let go of everything else. There’s nothing you have to do… except maybe get married. 😉

If you’re looking for more help navigating this wild and wonderful process, I’ve got you:

• How to Tell Your Family You’re Eloping (Without the Guilt)
• How to Plan an Elopement or Micro Wedding
• Micro Weddings vs. Elopements: Which Is Right for You?
• Elopement Activities: Including Personal Adventures in Your Day
• Hiring an Elopement or Micro Wedding Planner

Wedding Planning Takeaways

Every couple’s wedding journey is unique, but there are themes that ring true again and again:

• Boundaries with family are hard, but necessary.
• Most of what causes stress won’t matter at all when the day comes.
• Presence > Perfection.
• The best memories often come from the unplanned, in-between moments.

And if you need help creating a day that actually feels like you? I’d love to walk through it with you.

Meet Your Elopement & Micro Wedding Photographer

RELATED POSTS